18 brutally honest illustrations that anyone who has struggled with anxiety will understand
Kashmira Gander and independent.co.uk
“I've been dealing with anxiety for as long as I can remember,” says Sow Ay, an illustrator who sketches brutally honest cartoons about his ongoing struggle with mental illness.
“A few days ago I was diagnosed with panic disorder. It took a lot of time because I was scared to talk about it. But I could no longer live with it, so I'm glad I did talk about it," he tells The Independent.
Sow Ay, who is in his twenties but prefers to keep his identity secret and “hide behind” his characters, lives in Auvergne, France, and runs the Forsaken Studio graphic design firm. A golden star often comforts his anxiety-riddled characters in his work.
Sow Ay illustration's on mental health - In pictures
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Although he was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety and depression “after a burnout” in 2016, he has been dealing with anxiety for as long as he can remember.
Drawing has been an outlet for him since childhood, but his artworks weren’t always so serious. “At school, I loved drawing to make my friends laugh," he says.
“I've always been sharing my work online. To make people laugh, or to share my story. But it all became way more dark last year,” he says.
At first, he was nervous about sharing his most personal work online. “In real life, I always avoid talking about how I feel. I was scared about the reaction people could have about suddenly discovering I could no longer work. But at the same time, that's maybe a great way to show how powerful mental illnesses can be.
“I was really scared to draw such personal things. I was scared to see people laughing at me, scared to see them telling me everything is just in my head. I was scared they were right. I think I needed to feel less alone.”
“It a great way to express myself: a way to clean up my thoughts and brain so I don't get crazy.
At first, he published his cartoons online in English so his family couldn’t read the text.
“And didn't share it with my friends at first. But I dared sharing and talking about it later.”
"In the end, they were incredibly understanding and supportive. I feel really lucky.”
The public response to his work, he says, has been “incredible.”
“I cried when I discovered I was not alone in this and when I received tons of emails thanking me for the help. I've never imagined I could be of any help to anyone. I feel so useful and proud now.
"I think the responses that have stood to me are the ones from therapists. They also thanked me and wanted to share my work with their patients. That's so incredible."
The biggest misconception about mental illness, he feels, the idea that "it's just in your head".
"That's why makes us feel guilty and remain silent," he says. "Mental illness can not always leave by simple strong will. The real strength is to ask for help and talk about it."
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